Captain Falcon's Basketball
by Cimar of Turalis
Summary: Several things were learned by the smashers that day. 1. That Captain Falcon is an idiot 2. Jigglypuff makes for a great basketball and 3. Captain Falcon is very odd when it comes to girlfriends...Who knew?


**For Pikana's unique pairing competition. I know this is short, but it has been in my mind for over a month and I needed to get it written. Anywho, hope you enjoy.**

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It was a dangerous day for the smashers, with most of them hiding in their rooms or in dark corners of the mansion. If they were seen, it was only a quick blur as they dashed quickly into another shadowy hiding place. It was another game of hide-and-seek, however, Captain Falcon was it.

Usually it wasn't a problem for the smashers as they played this game, although they dreaded when Falcon was it as he had a very…peculiar, way of tagging the poor, unfortunate soul who he found.

"Falcon…….Punch!"

The scream sent shudders down the smasher's spines as a childlike scream rent the air followed by a heavy crash. In the main room, several smashers poked their heads out nervously from behind the television while Bowser looked out from underneath the sofa. A small boy, clad in green was sitting against the far wall, his eyes spinning wildly as the racer stood over him with a silly grin on his face.

"I knew you were hiding on that stool," he yelled, pointing towards the small child.

"I already told you, I wasn't playing," Toon Link cried as he massaged his stomach where the infamous punch had connected. "I was just eating my breakfast when you punched me." The boy pointed towards an overturned bowl and spoon on the counter and the puddle of milk and cereal dripping down onto the floor.

"You can't fool me," Falcon laughed as he flexed. "You're just trying to fool me into thinking that you weren't playing when you really were playing and you are just lying to fool me into thinking the wrong thing about whether you are playing or not."

Toon Link's mouth dropped, "What does that mean?"

"Exactly," the racer laughed. "I have caught you in your foolery. No one can make a fool out of Captain Falcon!" Again the racer let out a hearty laugh as Toon Link picked up his bowl and took it back to the cupboard to refill it for the second time that morning.

Mario slinked back behind the TV where both Samus and Link were hiding.

"What happened?" Link whispered as Mario started shaking his head.

"Poor-a Toon Link. Captain Falcon thought-a he was playing when he was just-a having breakfast…"

Link let out a small groan as he slumped against the wall. "Why doesn't that thick-skulled racer get it that the children aren't playing with us," he whispered while massaging his head. "We told him just this morning, twice in fact, that they don't play."

"It's because he's an idiot, plain and simple," Samus sneered a bit loudly while the other two shushed her immediately.

"Quiet," link whispered as he placed a hand over Samus' mouth which was promptly shoved away, "he will hear you."

"I heard that!"

All three smashers froze in panic as Captain Falcon's voice echoed from the dining room. His boots sounded across the wooden floor until they reached the soft carpet, muddling the sound.

"Who is hiding in here from the great Captain Falcon!" He began scanning the room, his eyes finally resting on a shivering sofa near the television. Bowser watched in panic as Falcon made his way over to his hiding place, fearing what might happen.

"Ah, a quaking sofa! Even the furniture in this place fears my awesome game playing skills." Bowser stared up at Falcon as the racer patted the sofa, which he had to jump up to reach as it rested on Bowser's back several feet up.

"So tell me shivering sofa, where might I find my prey…"

"Near the television," Bowser quietly replied, hoping that Falcon's idiocy would rule the day.

"Splendid!" Falcon laughed as he slammed his hand against the sofa, almost knocking it off of Bowser if it wasn't for the many spikes currently impaling it. "Looks like I have won again!"

Link glared at Bowser through an open spot underneath the television as the racer started towards the three smashers.

"I'll take care of this," Samus whispered as she cupped her hands around her mouth. Mario made a grab to stop her as she belted out a rather good Peach impression.

"I actually left the spot behind the television a long time ago for the training room." Mario and Link were gaping at her while she continued. "So you might want to check there."

Samus uncapped her handsd and looked over at Mario and Link, who were staring at her in horror. She smirked quietly as they heard the sound of boots trouncing across wooden flooring.

"Aha! I knew it was you! Now you have given your position away to the great Captain Falcon! I triumph again, huzzah!"

His footsteps quickly died away as a door was heard being slammed down the hallway. The two guy smashers breathed out a sigh of relief as Samus began to laugh.

"I knew that would work," she responded to their semi-angry glares. "I've done that every game now and he hasn't caught on yet." Link slapped his forehead while Mario shook his head. Samus stood up and taking a quick peak around the TV, motioned for the other two smashers to get up.

"Come on, let's get some pizza or something. I've already seen Marth, Ike and Peach leave the game earlier so let's see if we can join them."

The other two nodded in agreement as they slipped out the backdoor and started heading towards the nearby pizza parlor located nearby the mansion, Mario taking a quick moment to punch Bowser as the threesome walked past.

"Sounds better than playing this stupid game," Bowser muttered as the threesome left. The koopa lifted himself off the floor and walked towards the door, the sofa making an excellent decoration as he made his way towards the pizza shop.

*

The small pink Pokémon had finally found a place that was quiet in the mansion. Her small body deflated as she let out a loud sigh, sounding more like a puff than anything else as she skipped blissfully into the training room. Her large eyes wandered the room, until she came across a secluded spot across from her next to a large crate of basketballs. Giving a squeal of delight, the pokemon bounded towards the spot, then settled in next to the crate and up against the heater vent on the floor. Within seconds, she fell asleep, the warmth of the heater massaging her mind into peace.

*

Captain Falcon sprinted down the hallway, jumping this way and that as if avoiding imaginary foes along his path until his eyes spotted the door he was looking for. He screeched to a stop just outside the door, preparing his signature punch to break it open when he paused.

"Master Hand got really ticked last time I broke something…" he muttered, remembering the incident the day before, and the day before that, as well as the butterfly incident a couple of weeks ago. "I might get on his good side one of these days if I stop breaking things, even if I can't help that I'm so awesome." He quickly got into a pose as he yelled a quick yes towards nobody in the hallway and as silently as he could, opened the door to the training room.

He scanned the brightly lit room as he walked around inside of it, looking for where Peach might be hiding.

"Peach, you told me you were in here, now come on out and show yourself."

The room was as silent as ever as he made his way over to the only object in the room at the time, a large basket full of basketballs.

"Yes! It looks like some of those weird orange balls have survived my Falcon Punchs!" He briefly paused as he remembered the day before, and how he had tried seeing what types of things in the training room could survive a Falcon punch. His eyes slowly fell onto a round pink shape next to the basket and his eyes widened.

"They have one in my favorite color too!" he laughed in surprise as he picked up the round object. "I wonder if it is any better than the other ones…."

Falcon reared back his arm, then threw the pink object as hard as he could across the room. It nearly flattened against the wall with how much force it was thrown, waking Jigglypuff out of her nap while simultaneously stunning her back asleep. The racer sprinted over to the pink ball, picking it up then spun it, placing it on the tip of his finger.

"Ah ha! It spins even better than the other ones!" Quickly, he dropped the pokemon to the floor, trying to dribble her as he made his way across the room towards a nearby basket.

"It seems like it is a bit hard to bounce this ball," he mumbled as he dunked Jigglypuff in the net with a perfect swish.

"YES!"

Jigglypuff slowly opened her eyes, and almost vomited as the world spun around her. It was almost worse than the after effects of a rollout attack. She stumbled around the floor, finding a large vertical object that she could steady herself on. Unfortunately for her, the object moved soon after she grabbed onto it.

Captain Falcon looked down from his celebrations right as Jigglypuff grabbed onto his leg.

"What is this!" he yelled as he tried to lift his leg, but not quick enough as Jigglypuff latched onto his leg. His eyes widened as the pokemon rested against his leg, her eyes still spinning from the veritable beating she had just received.

"Wha…what is this? Nobody has ever given me a hug before…"

Captain Falcon felt a tear come to his eye, which he quickly brushed aside with his gloved hand. "My mom didn't even give me hugs…at least, not after I tested out my first Falcon punch on her when I was two." He crouched down to eye level with the Pokémon as Jigglypuff finally reoriented herself and found herself in a staring contest with Falcon.

"You know what, for being so nice, you're going to get a special reward."

Jigglypuff grimaced, letting out a small puff as Falcon reared back both of his arms.

"Falcon…."

Jigglypuff braced for the impact of a double falcon punch when she felt two arms scoop her up into the air.

"…Hug!"

Jigglypuff stopped cringing as she felt the warmth of Falcon's arms around her, and for a moment, felt incredibly happy. From the moment she had arrived at the mansion, everyone had ignored her, never even speaking to her. Pichu had tried, but had slept through her song when she had tried to sing to him and had avoided her since. However, this person seemed to actually….like her.

"I think you and I could be friends," Falcon laughed as he set Jigglypuff back onto the floor. The Pokémon beamed him a warm smile as she got a microphone out from behind her back.

"Yes! Let's hear a song!" Falcon roared as he sat cross-legged on the floor. "Give me your best shot."

Jigglypuff beamed as she softly sang the only song she knew. At a minute long, it was short, but a soothing melody that seemed to charm the very essence in the room. As she finished, she glanced over at Falcon, worried that he too, would have fallen asleep as everyone else had always done. To her surprise, the racer was upright and giving her a standing ovation.

"That was magnificent! Worthy of the great Captain Falcon himself!"

Jigglypuff beamed as she curtsied, then hopped over to the racer as he lowered his arms for her to rest in.

"I think you deserve something good after that!" he laughed as he walked to the door, splintering it as he kicked it open. "Let's go get some pizza, shall we?"

Jigglypuff nodded as the two smashers made there way out of the mansion and towards the nearest pizza shack.

*

The pizza place was busy for how early it was, as almost a dozen of the smashers had snuck there during the hide-and-seek game to avoid being clocked by Falcon.

"Do you think Falcon has forgotten that he is even playing hide-and-seek now?" Link asked Mario as he took a large bite of his pizza.

"I don't-a know," Mario mused as he sipped on his glass of water.

"Probably," Samus interjected as she wiped at her lips with a napkin. "That guy is even denser than Bowser over there, even with his added hood ornament."

The three glanced over at Bowser, who still had the sofa attached to his back, as nobody had seen fit to help him to remove it.

Just then, the door burst open and a flood of sunlight beamed into the room. All of the smashers stared in surprise and horror at the person standing in the door.

Captain Falcon stood in the doorway, Jigglypuff standing at his feet.

"It looks like the great Captain Falcon has finally found you all!" he beamed as he cracked his knuckles.

All at once, every smasher in the room made a break for whatever exit was closest to them, several ending up throwing themselves through windows to escape from Falcon. After the hubbub had died down, the entire restaurant was empty…except for.

"It appears that the only one left in the room is the shivering sofa!"

Bowser gulped as the racer drew near him, helping Jigglypuff onto a nearby stool. Falcon took a seat next to Jigglypuff, and several away from Bowser as the racer patted the Pokémon on her head.

"You know what, I didn't know that furniture liked pizza?"

**

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Who knew that Falcon and Jigglypuff would make such a nice pair? I don't think I even think that. Anways, hope you've enjoyed this dumb story. Just let me know what you thought about it.


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